a story about LOL

It’s a week already.. but still raining inside here. Sometime it is heavily.. and sometime It juz a single drop.. huhuhu… such a long time didn’t came here. Especially once I started my master. I wish to write the journey of my master but somehow I can’t. May be I still adapting this situation.. (what???? U still adapting come on la.. u already in second semester rite now…)

i called them LOL gang.. it come in two meaning. one is Laugh out Loud as they keep laughing or makes others laugh. and the second meaning is Lack of Love... they know why i address them as lack of love. some of them are not my mentees.. but sangat2 memahami lebih dari mentee sendiri.. hahahha.. i hope all of u can get at least a lil love from me sepanjang masa kita bersama.

I felt like the weather really understood me now. Sukarnya menerima hakikat mereka yang mereka telah secara rasminya meninggalkan saya. Cuba untuk berlagak tabah di hadapan mereka.. tapi akhirnya tertewas juga.. Ya Allah.. terima kasih kerana meminjamkan aku nikmat ini walaupun untuk seketika..

The last few years.. I promise to myself no to be so closed to a person like them.. because I worried ‘tentang itu’ berulang kembali. Lukanya hanya Allah yg tahu… I know.. time will heal everything.. but the scar still there.. and the forgiveness will never be given to the respective person unless he/she/they come and see me personally and ask for  that

Because of the promise, I kept myself away from that type of person including my own mentee. But this group of lil sis n bro always came to me even they are not my own mentee. no matter how I sad.. they tried to cherish me in their own way… including didn’t turn up to class n makes me more angry.. hahhaha..

Masih dalam ingatan kali pertama saya jumper mereka.. saya da marah2.. then having them inside my class.. sangat mencabar saya.. kenakalan dan keselambaan (ada ke perkataan nie?) mereka kadang2 menduga hati… penah saya jemur mereka ditengah panas hanya sebab they didn’t make their revision.. bukan sekali saya merajuk dengan attitude mereka.. but they will come back with muke seposen.. penah juga saya menjadi mangsa kelewatan mereka hadir ke kelas. Can u imagine.. hari ada observation hanya 4 org yg turn up and the rest late or x dtg langsung… masa tuh rasa nak lempang sorang2… kalau hari hujan lagik la.. early morning da dpt kol or sms….tentang ape? Biarlah antara kami yg mengetahuinya…

Some words melekat dalam hati mereka dan saya sehingga kini.. USAHA TANGGA KEJAYAAN.. or kuih raya yang bernama sentinel.. ada cerita disebalik setiap perkataan ini.. dan cerita itu mampu untuk membuat saya tersenyum dalam meniti hari2 saya tanpa mereka di sisi…

They having their convocation last week.. as always.. I tried not to turn up during the convo since I know I can’t manage to handle my tears walaupun saya sangat2 mahu melihat mereka di dalam dewan itu dan berkata di dalam hati sendiri..” u r much better than the first time I saw u… and congratulations..” saya sibukkan diri dengan urusan saya and when dr nasir said that we will have the test on the night of their convo.. I felt very comfortable because I don’t need to produce any more reason to them. Tapi Allah Maha Mendengar.. kerana jauh di sudut hati saya tetap mahu bersama mereka di hari yg paling penting dalam hidup mereka… 

Being a part of graduation team.. I felt so lucky… because I can be with them even hanya memandang dari kejauhan. Selesai kerja2 pendaftaran.. I went to the hall.. and lihat mereka telah mula beratur untuk sessi penerimaan diploma. All of u are so beautiful and handsome on the stage… I will miss that moment…. I am proud of all of u..

Hey my lil sis n bro… feez, aju, iqa, each, tqa, yana, iffa, azri, pjg, roy, syuk, dm, rain, mie… thanx for the last few years we went through together… I know I will miss all of u and hope u are here again…Congratulations sayang2 saya semua…. The journey still far away.. walk and face it confidently.. I am here as always to lend u my ears n shoulder to cry…

dedicated to all LOL's parents:

"terima kasih sebab meminjamkan saya anak2 tuan/puan. tahniah di atas kejayaan mereka. u must be proud of them.. mereka anak2 yang baik.. semoga dipermudahkan urusan mereka selepas ini. semoga kejayaan dan kebahagian milik mereka..."

pic mereka? nantilah saya upload.. afta dapat dr am..